I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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