My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
