I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Drake has all the answers
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
