One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
