mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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