yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
