So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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