Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
