I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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