I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
