scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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