Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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