I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize