ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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