State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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