Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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