I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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