I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
