She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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