Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
