I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you win again, gameday.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot