He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.