I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me