Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?

(469): View more from Texas

Ya, why?

(972): View more from Texas

We should try that some time.

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(972): Remember that sex scene from American Psycho? (469): Ya, why? (972): We should try that some time. http://tfl.nu/72x3

Replies (10) Good night (1326) Bad night (771)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

(302): View more from Delaware

You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

(865): View more from Tennessee

They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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(865): dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends. (302): You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win. (865): They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/4iwq

Replies (13) Good night (3132) Bad night (672)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"

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(270): At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back" http://tfl.nu/lhve

Replies (9) Good night (4931) Bad night (882)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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(908): Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely http://tfl.nu/evtu

Replies (13) Good night (750) Bad night (4677)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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(216): Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product. http://tfl.nu/f048

Replies (24) Good night (918) Bad night (4225)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e

Replies (12) Good night (4870) Bad night (1239)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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(860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9

Replies (22) Good night (5697) Bad night (1102)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward

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(732): Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward http://tfl.nu/ic98

Replies (6) Good night (2352) Bad night (1965)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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(717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea

Replies (8) Good night (5452) Bad night (1168)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.

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(403): At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers. http://tfl.nu/h62s

Replies (4) Good night (1917) Bad night (1230)
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(517): View more from Michigan

And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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(517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam

Replies (7) Good night (1383) Bad night (3403)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.

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(262): Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI. http://tfl.nu/aihj

Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (1358)
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(631): View more from New York

I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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(631): I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila! http://tfl.nu/xkdv

Replies (5) Good night (1133) Bad night (459)
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(210): View more from Texas

I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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(210): I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do. http://tfl.nu/dd4u

Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (596)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.

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(423): If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker. http://tfl.nu/0llf

Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (226)

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