My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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