Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
