I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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