He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
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I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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