Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
