I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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