There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
