Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
