She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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