I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
