then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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