You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
