Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
