This girl is more easily done than said...
My cat gives me a boner
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
