he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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