I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
