MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
