they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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