I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
