I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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