Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
