first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
