My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
