Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
