I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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