She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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