I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
