I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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