How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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