you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
