Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
