i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
