he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My ass is underappreciated
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
