If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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