I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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