i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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