I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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