I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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