Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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