how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
