all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
