He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
PANTIES FOUND
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
